Have you ever felt like you’ve outgrown something that you love? Like the person you were when you fell in love is no longer the person you are today? Well, that’s exactly how I was feeling and why I needed to step away. I spent years building this amazing art project through my photography and wild antics called Steezy Studios™, and for a long time it was my sole-purpose for existence, and the only thing I could anchor my identity to.
I’ve always known I was created to create, but I didn’t know I could grow out of my own creation. I found myself in a completely new place in my mind, heart, and spirit. I was in a foreign space where my old persona no longer served me, yet I didn’t know how to fully step into my future while still having one foot deeply rooted in my past. Rather than staying how I was, I chose to lean into who I was meant to be, and that meant leaving this project behind.
I walked away nearly six years ago (dang, time really does fly!) and within that time I only recently started picking up a camera again for fun. Photography used to be my passion, and somewhere on my journey my passion turned into a means of income. I’m so grateful that something as small as a camera was able to make such a big monetary impact in my life, but money also caused distortion in my views of what’s important and what really matters. It wasn’t monies fault, it was mine. I was so financially illiterate at the time and had zero respect for what money actually symbolizes. Back then it was a means to get things, now I see it as a means to share things. To me, that’s the biggest identifier of my financial maturity and a really big piece of the puzzle that has brought me back here, to this space. -- The place I want to rebuild with you.
I must also add that I'm now proudly sober and have been for the past five years. This was another huge reason why I knew I needed to make drastic changes in my life. I knew it was time to finally come clean, take ownership, and fess up to all of my brokenness. If you listen to the podcast, you will know it's been quite the journey. Photography was never the thing that made me drink, but it was the thing I liked to do while doing photography. When you have a proclivity to escape who you are, you find any excuse to summon up who you wish you could be. When the camera was on, and the bottle was open, my false-self would awaken. And he was the version of me that made me feel like I had any sense of power and importance.
Something that took me six years and tons of failed attempts to learn is — ‘right now is the only moment that matters’. I believe this to my core. I now know that my only job is to build, anything after that is out of my control. And I don't mean I should build carelessly without any direction. I mean build within, so I can change the way I build without. I had to transform my inside world before I could ever muster up the audacity to touch my outside world. So where do we go from here? Well friends, you and I are currently in uncharted territory, and that’s what makes this thing so exciting. We now have a white canvas and can add any brush strokes, colors, and textures that we wish. This is where our imagination and creative spirit can be utilized and actualized into something positive. Something inspirational.
I know I’m in a really good healthy space to finally revisit this thing and start to dust off skills that have been laying dormant. This has always served as a conduit of creativity and place for me to express myself, but this time, the person doing the creating has new tools, new skillsets and a lot more capacity to give. Though I have a vision in my mind, I don’t quite know what this vehicle that we’re crafting is going to fully look like, but I do know that it’s going to take us somewhere beautiful. -- This is no longer a race to see how fast we can go. It’s now an adventure to see how far we can go. And we’re only taking the scenic routes.
-Danny
P.s. How do you guys like the new website design and overhaul? I spent the last four days locked in a room working on this. It's so different but I feel like it really suits the aesthetic and creative direction I want to go in.
SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS
Feedback is always appreciated. Please feel free to ask any questions or share any thoughts you might have in regard to this post. I love opening up the space for communication and will always respond.
Your friend,
-Danny