NEVER STOP LAUGHING

I had a profound dream last night. In my dream my parents just got a divorce and I was helping my dad clean the house that I grew up in. He was picking up clutter off of the coffee table as I was on trash duty. Just a father and son doing chores together and talking about life. He was asking me about school then asked me what my plans were for the evening? I told him I didn’t have any, then he asked me if I would like to meet his new girlfriend? I was a bit stunned because in this dream I knew that the divorce was still fresh, still new because the wound in my heart ran deep; these simple words that fell from his mouth felt excruciating. I asked him if he ever thought that maybe one day him and my mom would realize that they made a mistake and get back together? He stopped what he was doing and narrowed his focus directly to my eyes. As he stood there in thought, time decided to mimic his posturing. It took what felt like an eternity for him to finally answer me, “No, son, I don’t”. Fighting back the tears as hard as I could, I was finally able to maneuver my voice past the lump in my throat, “it’s because you guys stopped laughing”. Then I instantly woke up. 

As a kid, my childhood home always felt alive. It was always full of laughter and felt like a hub for love because as much as I hated it, my parents were always playing, always laughing and grotesquely always kissing or leaving hickeys on one another. Yes, grown ups walking around with busted blood vessels in their necks on public display as if they were two teenagers who felt the need to boast their affection and claim their territory. It was a disgusting visual through my adolescent eyes and especially embarrassing when I had friends over. Yet, as much as I hated it, all of my friends who came from broken or divorced homes would always tell me how lucky I was. I never understood it and would plea for my parents to just be “normal”.

I understand now as an adult that the reasonings behind my parents divorce was completely valid. In fact, now knowing the chaos that was dwelling beneath the surface of the laughter and kisses, I’m quite surprised that the marriage ran as long as it did. But my dream, my dream didn’t upset me or make me miss my parents being married, no, my dream seemed to apply to myself currently. It was as if a ghost was visiting me from the past and showing me what will happen in the future if the gal and I ever stop laughing. Laughter is one of the things that bonds us, makes us feel close, makes us feel alive and makes us want to continue to fight for what we have. Laughter echos wherever we are and seems to infect others around us with a sense of energy that penetrates to the soul. You have no idea how many times people stare at us, compliment us or are in pure shock that we’ve only been together for six months. It’s because we’re aware of our magic, we cherish what we have, we’re grateful and we’re both willing to fight with everything that we’ve got to never give up, never stop playing, never stop kissing.. never stop laughing.

-Danny